What You Are
by Rebecca Parker
Summary: After a violent attack by vampires, Buffy realizes she has the power of invincibility, and everyone, including Angel, Cordelia and Wesley, are determined to find out how, and why exactly the Watcher's Council is in town determined to kill Buffy.
1. Default Chapter

"What You Are" (Part 1/?)   
AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker   
EMAIL: Buffonian@aol.com   
RATING: PG   
FEEDBACK: Yes please! I plan on trying to write a part a day, so if I'm not   
feeling loved and adored I may slack off in that respect!   
DISTRIBUTION: FINNatics, of course. All others please ask first.   
SPOILERS: All of Season 4   
DEDICATION: To Emmy, who always inspires me to write. To Jen, who is a great   
friend and an excellent list mum. To Caro who reminded me that I needed to   
get off my ass and start writing again. To Ben, who somehow changed my   
attitude on a lot of things about my life. Thank you all!   
NOTE: It always kind of bugged me that in the beginning of "Restless", Riley   
was up and about, even though he had just ripped a whole in his chest! So I'm   
changing that. I hope you all enjoy! Also, this part is in first person, but   
future parts will not.   
DISCLAIMER: Joss owns all. I own nothing but the dream of someday being as   
brilliant as him.   
  
  
  
I've been watching the front door for over an hour now, my eyes transfixed by   
the doorknob. I'm expecting it to turn at any moment. Buffy went out on one   
of her nightly patrols and she should have been back by now.   
  
I'd be with her now, but the doctors insist I stay in bed for at least 2 more   
days. Apparently, ripping a chip out of your chest with a shard of glass is   
bad for you- who knew?   
  
My eyes ran down to the IV tube sticking out of my arm and I can't prevent   
the audible sigh that escapes my throat.   
  
I should be with her. As every second passes, I feel that more and more.   
Half of the demon population kept captive by the Initiative was now out on   
the streets, just looking for a good fight. And I know my Buffy- she'll give   
it to them.   
  
OK. It's been an hour and a half now. This can't be good. She had told me she   
would just make a clean sweep of the graveyard and head back to me.   
  
I hate to admit it, but I've been having nightmares daily since the showdown   
with Adam. In them, I see Walsh and what was done to her. I hear her saying   
"Be a good boy, Riley" as Forrest holds me down and Dr. Angleman flawlessly   
saws into my head.   
  
I see Adam fighting Buffy, but this time she doesn't win. I watch as his   
Polgara skewer rips through her heart and she dies right then and there in   
front of my eyes. She looks at me and her eyes stay fixed on me in death.   
  
Surprisingly though, the dream that scares me the most; that sent shivers   
down to the base of my spine was Buffy possessed by that spirit- or whatever   
it was. Buffy had explained to me that it was the power of all the slayers.   
It makes sense, and I'm glad the spell worked, but I keep seeing her- those   
eyes lit up like something out of "The Exorcist", staring out into space.   
Her hand is stretched out, holding Adam's core as his body crumpled to the   
floor, but in my nightmares, it's my heart she's holding, and it's I who fall   
to the floor as she stares out, her expression blank.   
  
I haven't told Buffy about that dream, of course. She has a lot on her mind,   
and like me, a good portion of her worry comes from the dreams she had that   
night. Unfortunately for her, she knows they weren't meaningless.   
  
The first slayer had told her that she had no idea what she was and that   
scared her. It had scared me too, but I couldn't admit that. I had to be   
the supporting boyfriend and tell her not to worry.   
  
Despite the nurse's wishes, she had slept in my arms last night and as she   
dozed, I could feel her trembling. I wrapped my arms around her tighter and   
ran my fingers along the side of her face.   
  
The memory of her touch snapped me back to reality and I checked the clock   
above the television. It's been two hours now and I am sufficiently worried.   
  
I shifted in my bed and reach over to the phone, my nervous fingers dialing.   
  
"Hello?" a worried voice said as the ringing finally stopped.   
  
"Giles, it's Riley."   
  
"Oh, Riley, Hello," Giles said, and at that moment I'm sure something's   
wrong. He doesn't usually sound like this when he has tea on the stove and   
is settling back to watch "Masterpiece Theatre" or whatever he watches these   
days.   
  
"What's wrong? I know something's up. Buffy should have been here by now. Is   
she there with you?"   
  
"Uh. I'm afraid not Riley. There was a bit of an...incident tonight on   
patrol."   
  
So exactly the words I didn't want to hear. If anything happened to her,   
it's my fault. I'm not an invalid. I could have been out there with her, but   
like usual, I followed orders and stayed in bed like a good boy. Some   
anarchist I am.   
  
"What happened?", I asked, my mind running through a million horrible   
scenarios.   
  
"She was..cornered by a gang of vampires," Giles started and I felt a large   
lump form in my throat.   
  
"And?", I asked, the panic in that one word shocking to even me.   
  
"She was bitten, I'm afraid," Giles said, his own voice shaky.   
  
"She wasn't..." I started, unable to finish my thought out loud, although   
immediately the image of Buffy as a vampire filled my mind.   
  
"No. She wasn't turned," Giles said. "Xander saved her actually. For once,   
that boy had impeccable timing. Now that the Gem of Amara has been destroyed,   
the vampire's ultimate goal will be to turn the slayer, unfortunately."   
  
My mind was swimming. She wasn't a vampire. Apparently she wasn't dead, or   
else Giles would have told him.   
  
"Where is she? Will she be OK?"   
  
"She's in the hospital with you actually. I was about to come there and tell   
you in person."   
  
"She's here," I said, feeling like an idiot for having to question it. There   
was only one hospital in Sunnydale.   
  
"Yes. Xander took her into the emergency room about a half an hour ago."   
  
"Is she going to be OK?"   
  
"I don't know," Giles said. "She lost a lot of blood. But then again..." he   
trailed off.   
  
"She was fine when Angel drained her." I sighed. I had to go and say it-   
the name destined to make me feel worse than ever- Angel. I'm insecure about   
him, I admit it. I trust Buffy completely, but there will always be that   
little devil on my shoulder telling me how strong the Id's urges can be and   
how hard they are to resist. On most days, I picture that devil as Walsh.   
  
"Yes, she did." Giles admitted. "But this...this was quite bad as well. She   
was bitten in several places."   
  
"Oh God." I swung my legs over the side of the bed, feeling a small flash of   
pain in my chest as I did so. "I have to go see her. I'll meet you in   
emergency."   
  
"Riley, are you sure you're well enough?"   
  
"No," I said, clutching my hand to my chest as another burst of pain erupted.   
"But I don't care. I need to be with her."   
  
I hung up the phone, not bothering to wait for Giles' response. If Buffy was   
as bad as Giles had made it out to be, seconds counted.   
  
I threw on my clothes, wincing from the pain of my rapid movements. I was   
still buttoning up my pants as I walked out the door, following the signs to   
the emergency room.   
  
Before I knew it, I was there, my eyes darting around, looking for her. My   
heart found her first and I turned around, knowing she was in the room behind   
me.   
  
If anything could have reduced me, a military man, to tears, the sight of   
Buffy just then was it. Her skin was so sickly pale, strands of her   
beautiful blonde hair were matted with blood. I could see her chest rising   
and falling and I breathed a sigh of relief.   
  
My legs were carrying me towards her of their own will, as my mind was still   
frozen at the sad sight of her.   
  
"Buffy," I said, hardly louder than a whisper. My heart ached and I wanted   
to kiss her, to bring her back to her full self with my kiss like Prince   
Charming.   
  
I was so close to touching her, so close that I could smell the vanilla mist   
she loved to spray on all over in the morning. So close and then the machines   
all around her started to come alive and within seconds, I was pushed aside   
by doctors and nurses.   
  
"What's..what's going on?" I shouted, scared out of my wits.   
  
"I...I don't believe it," I heard a doctor say, the confusion in his voice   
worrying me.   
  
"It cant be," a nurse said, looking at the doctor. "Is this possible?"   
  
"No. It's not," the doctor said, hovering over Buffy and obstructing my view.   
I was ready to jump out of my skin if I didn't find out what was going on   
soon.   
  
"What's wrong?" I asked, forcing my way through to where Buffy was lying.   
  
The doctor looked up at me. "Are you family?"   
  
I frowned. "Not yet. But if she lives, I'm going to ask to marry her," I   
said, feeling warm inside at the very thought of calling Buffy my wife.   
  
The doctor smiled. "Well, I'd start shopping for rings, young man. God seems   
to be on your side."   
  
I felt like dancing a jog right there. "She's going to be OK?"   
  
"No. She's not going to be OK. She -is- OK. I've never seen anything like it   
in my life. She was brought in her about 20 minutes ago with several animal   
bites all over her body. The loss of blood should have been fatal but..."   
  
"But what?" I asked, looking over at Buffy. "Wait a second," I said, moving   
over to her. The color was back in her cheeks and her wounds were..."   
  
"Gone. She's 100% healed. It's unheard of. I have to call the University and   
do some tests."   
  
"No," I said, protectively moving in front of Buffy. "No tests."   
  
"But..."   
  
"No," I said, picking Buffy up in my arms. "No."   
  
"Sir, you cant take her."   
  
"You want to stop me?"   
  
I watched as the doctor looked around helplessly for a security guard. Lucky   
for me there were none and I used the opportunity to sneak out the back door   
with Buffy safe in my arms.   
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED....   



	2. Part 2

What You Are (Part 2/?)   
AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker   
EMAIL: Buffonian@aol.com   
RATING: PG   
SPOILERS: Seasons 1-4   
FEEDBACK: Of course! I slacked off on writing this part so I'll need lots of   
warm, gooey, ooey feedback to make me not make the same mistake again!   
DISTRIBUTION: FINNatics, of course. All others please ask.   
DISCLAIMER: Joss owns all. I own nothing but these two brain cells floating   
around.   
DEDICATION: To Emmy, my evil twin. To Jen, my fearless leader. To Jodi, my   
compadre in smut and confusion over the male species, to Ben, my source of   
confusion over the male species, and to Caro, the gal who needs to get her   
talented ass to IRC more often!   
NOTE: I know this part is short, but I wanted to get it out at lunchtime.   
Cross your fingers…if it's not too busy for the rest of the day, maybe I'll   
have the next part out when I get home tonight!   
  
  
"What do they mean, she's gone?" Xander asked, pacing the living room of   
Giles' apartment for the tenth time. "She was really bad, Giles. I didn't   
think she was going to make it."   
"Yes, well apparently a tall blonde man in his 20's carried her out," Giles   
said, wiping his glasses clean.   
"OK so it's either Riley or Brad Pitt, and since Pitt's honeymooning in Oahu   
with Aniston…"   
"Yes, it's obviously Riley, but I don't understand why."   
"Will she be OK?" Willow asked, her nervous hands clasped together with   
Tara's. "How did the doctor say she was before he took her?"   
"That's the odd part," Giles said, sighing. "They wouldn't tell me."   
"Because you're not family?" Tara asked?   
"But they told Giles before," Xander answered. "He got the full update.   
Unless their policy changed in the last half hour or so, something fishy is   
going on." "Xander, that doesn't have to be true," Willow said, her   
shaking voice contradicting her words. "They could have…realized the error   
of their ways. Giles isn't family…"   
"Yes. I am," Giles interrupted, a stern look on his face.   
"I know. I'm sorry. I just…when I think of what could be going on…Giles,   
what if Riley has another chip inside him? Don't the Army people usually have   
a contingency plan?"   
"The chip so nice they installed it twice?"   
"I'm not kidding, Xander," Willow said, getting to her feet and breaking   
contact with Tara. "They could have activated it and he's taken Buffy to be   
made into a new breed of Adams or something!"   
"Willow," Giles said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I don't   
believe that to be a possibility. Riley went through extensive X-rays and   
nothing was found. Not to mention all my sources tell me the Initiative has   
closed down for good. It was quite an embarrassment for the government and   
it's all very 'hush-hush' now. I don't see them bringing the project back   
to life, if you'll pardon my pun."   
"Then what's going on?" Willow asked, frowning. "Why would Riley take   
Buffy from the hospital when she was in such critical condition? And why   
won't they tell us how she is?"   
"I don't know," Giles said, exasperated. "But you can be damn sure I'm   
going to find out."   
  
*****   
  
"Riley?" Buffy called out, her voice weak and distant. She stirred in   
his arms, bracing for the pain that she was sure would come, but didn't.   
"What's going on?" she asked, opening her eyes and blurring viewing her   
boyfriend above her.   
"Shh," Riley said, his hand reaching down and softly brushing against   
her soft skin. "You don't have to speak if you don't feel up to it."   
Buffy looked around, everything more in focus now as she shook off the   
last remnants of the sleep that had somehow overtaken her. "Where are we?   
What happened? Last I remember, I was…there were too many…"   
"I know," Riley said, fighting back the choking feeling in his throat as   
he remembered first seeing her in the hospital only an hour or so before, her   
body covered in blood. "Are you ok tho? How do you feel?"   
"I feel," Buffy said, moving out of the comfort of Riley's arms, "I   
feel fine. I feel like I did when…when I died by the Master. Stronger," she   
said, her voice shaking. "Did I die? What happened? I know I was hurt but I   
don't have a bruise on me. I don't understand."   
Riley frowned, pulling Buffy back into his arms. "You were hurt pretty   
badly. You had bites all over you Buffy. I won't lie…it didn't look good.   
But somehow, and I don't understand how, but somehow you healed yourself."   
"How long was I gone for? If I've healed already its been..days?"   
"No," Riley said, quietly.   
"Months?" she asked. "It can't have been months. I can't have lost all   
that time," she said, her voice shaking with fear.   
"It wasn't months."   
"What…what are you telling me?" she asked, grasping his hand firmly.   
"You healed…almost instantaneously. It was less than an hour, I think,"   
Riley said, looking into her eyes with automatically clouded over with   
confusion.   
"That's not possible," Buffy said, grabbing hold of Riley's wrist and   
glancing at his watch. "8:30. I went on patrol at 7," she said, her voice   
unbelieving. "I don't understand. This is the same day?"   
"The very same," he said, running his fingers through his blond hair,   
his confusion as frustrating as her own.   
"What am I doing here? Why aren't I in the hospital?"   
"I…I took you out of there. Buffy, they were just as surprised as you   
are that you healed so quickly. They wanted to do tests…"   
"Tests? Like boy in a bubble type tests?"   
"I don't know and that's why I took you out of there. I know that this   
must have something to do with your slayer powers so I got you out of there   
and brought you back to my room." Buffy stood up, pacing the length of his   
room, a million thoughts careening inside her head, trying to understand what   
was going on. "Not to sound predictable but…"   
"This is a job for Giles?"   
"I am predictable, huh?"   
"Only on this issue. On all others, as proved tonight, I don't think   
I'll ever be able to figure you out, Buffy Summers."   
Buffy frowned. "I don't want to be a mystery to you, Riley," she said,   
her voice shaky.   
"Hey," Riley said, taking her chin in his hand. "I like a little mystery   
every now and then. And I'd love you no matter what. You do know that,   
right?"   
Buffy nodded, her eyes teary from a million different emotions at once.   
"I know, Riley. You know I feel the same way. I just…I'm scared. I'm scared   
that I don't know who or what I am anymore."   
"Listen, we'll talk to Giles and we'll find out what's going on, ok?"   
"Ok," she said, nodding. "Let's go."   
  
  
To be continued… 


	3. Part 3

What You Are (Part 3/?)   
AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker   
EMAIL: Buffonian@aol.com   
RATING: PG   
SUMMARY: Buffy, attacked by several vampires, heals instantaneously.   
Riley takes her away from the hospital while the Scooby Gang   
worries about where she is.   
SPOILERS: Seasons 1-4   
FEEDBACK: What a silly question! Of COURSE I want some damn feedback! I   
will never write another word unless I am showered in the gooey   
stuff! (BTW....I've had WAY too much sugar today!) Seriously   
though, I'm feeling unloved in the feedback sense. I have big ideas   
for this story, but if I dont feel people are enjoying it, why should   
I bother?   
DISCLAIMER: Disclaimer?!? I don't need no stinkin' disclaimer! I own them   
all!! Bwahahahahaha! (once again- too much sugar!) Seriously,   
Joss owns all.   
DEDICATION: To the Usual Suspects- Kevin Spacey, Stephen Baldwin. No. Wait.   
The OTHER Usual Suspects. Emmy, Jen, Jodi, Emily and a very   
special addition- Naomi, aka Prophecy. This girl has done so much   
for me in the past few days and I cant thank her enough.   
  
  
  
  
"What about another hospital?" Xander asked, a look of desperation   
setting into his eyes. "She has to be somewhere. Riley wouldn't just take her   
to his love shack if she was on death's door."   
"We've checked all the other hospitals in town. She isn't at any of   
them. Apparently, they are on the lookout for her as well, although they   
won't tell me why," Giles said, slamming the phone down.   
"Well what about a spell? Like the one to locate the demon?" Xander   
offered, his gaze on Willow and Tara.   
"Oh you mean that spell that failed miserably?" Willow asked, looking at   
Tara whose gaze had fixed on a non-specific point elsewhere. "I don't know.   
The spell was designed to find a demon. I'd have to look to see if there was   
a spell to find humans."   
"There might be," Tara said, turning back to Willow and smiling shyly.   
"I-I remember reading about one in a book on Thespia."   
"The same Goddess as before?" Willow asked, skeptically.   
"Well yes," Tara said, sighing. "But I think- I think I might now what   
our problem was before. I-I'd have to go back to my room to look something   
up."   
"Do you want me to go with you?" Willow asked, her fingers brushing along   
Tara's palm.   
"N-no. I'll be OK and I'll call as soon as I find something." Tara got   
to her feet, brushing her hands against her skirt. "Call me if you find   
Buffy."   
"Ok," Willow said, watching as her girlfriend left the apartment.   
"So what do we do now?" Xander asked, looking to Giles for an answer.   
"I'll continue my calls though they seem to be doing no good whatsoever."   
"And?"   
"And we wait."   
  
********   
  
Buffy frowned as she watched people gasp at her, pointing to her while   
covering their mouths. She instinctively moved closer to Riley, who grasped   
her hand tighter.   
"Maybe I should have taken a shower before we left," she said, looking up   
at Riley. "I must look like I've come back from the prom with Sissy Spacek."   
"Well that's one way of putting it," Riley said, kissing her forehead.   
"We're almost there. I'm sure Giles will let you take a shower at his place   
while I explain what happened. You were, after all, unconscious for most of   
it."   
Buffy nodded, lowering her head. She hated feeling like this. She spent   
most of her life feeling strong- as if she could fight and defeat anything.   
She hadn't felt this vulnerable since the night the Master had almost pulled   
her down to Hell with him. Tonight, she had been overcome by   
It made no difference that physically she felt stronger than ever.   
Mentally, she felt like a little girl frustrated that she couldn't reach the   
counter in a candy store.   
Riley looked over at his girlfriend, frowning. "Hey," he said, stopping   
mid-stride. "Don't think that."   
"Don't think what?"   
"You know what. Buffy, I know you too well. It doesn't matter what almost   
happened, it matters what actually did. You survived. You're too strong and   
stubborn to let death get in the way."   
Buffy grinned. "Giles said something like that once. That not even death   
would stop me."   
"Giles is a very smart man."   
"Yes he is. The smartest."   
They walked the rest of the way in silence; Riley occasionally   
strengthening his grip on Buffy's hand in a form of physical reassurance.   
"Do I look OK?" Buffy asked as they reached Giles' front door. " I   
mean...I know I look like a bloodied mess. But do I look like a pretty   
bloodied mess?"   
"The prettiest," Riley said, smiling.   
"Good," she said, sighing as she raised her hand and knocked on the door   
to Giles' apartment, strangely reminded of her return to Sunnydale after her   
runaway summer. The pangs of nervousness she felt in her stomach were   
different than the ones she had felt then- she was sure that Giles would take   
her back this time.   
The door opened swiftly, revealing a haggard looking Giles whose look   
went from desperation to relief in the two seconds it took the door to fully   
open.   
"Buffy. Dear God," he said, his smile automatically disappearing as his   
eyes took in the sight of Buffy, her clothes covered in blood. Are you- are   
you ok?" Giles, took hold of Buffy's arm, pulling her into the house.   
Riley reluctantly let go and followed, his eyes remaining on Buffy.   
"Buffy! Oh my God," Willow said, jumping up and rushing towards her   
friend, Xander shortly behind.   
"I-I'm fine," Buffy said, her voice shaking nervously as she became aware   
of all the eyes focused on her."   
"Well you look horrible," Anya piped in from her seat on the couch from   
which she had not moved. "You look like you should be dead."   
"Anya!" Xander shouted, angry eyes pointing at his girlfriend. "I think   
this should be one of those times that we talked about where you just   
shouldn't speak at all."   
"Xander," Buffy said, placing a hand on her worried friend's arm. "It's   
ok. She's right. I should be dead."   
"But...I don't understand Buff. I brought you to the hospital. You were   
really bad. The doctors said there was a chance you wouldn't..."   
"I know. But something happened." Buffy turned to her Watcher. "Giles,   
look at me. I know I have all this blood on me, but there's no bites."   
"You healed? Already?" Giles said, removing his glasses. "It hasn't been   
long enough. The Slayer does not have healing qualities, her biochemistry   
simply speeds along the process."   
"Well then hand that biochemistry of mine a ticket because it was   
speeding way faster than normal."   
Xander smiled at Buffy, his eyes darting downward.   
"I know," Buffy said, grinning. "My sense of humor needs work. But I'm   
injured or WAS... Cut me some slack!"   
Giles cleared his throat, signaling the fun and games to stop. "This just   
doesn't make sense Buffy."   
"Tell me about it."   
"I think I need to call the Watcher's Council, as much as I hate even the   
suggestion of the very act. Perhaps this has happened before. I haven't   
heard of it though."   
"Good. You do that and I'm going to take a shower. That is, of course,   
if Spike isn't sleeping in it like in the good ole days when we had him   
locked up."   
"No," Giles said. "Alas, those days are long gone and Spike is currently   
occupying the Weiss Crypt in Restfield."   
"Oh and I was wondering what all the vampires were laughing at when I   
passed it on my patrol," Buffy said, grinning.   
"Well take your shower. Riley and I will discuss what happened at the   
hospital," Giles said, sliding his glasses back on his nose.   
"Uh, Giles?"   
"Yes Buffy? Is everything alright?"   
"No. I have a big issue."   
Riley moved over to her, instantly taking her hand in his. "What is it?"   
"Clothes," Buffy said, smiling. "I need clothes."   
"Oh," Giles said, breathing a sigh of relief. "You had me worried there.   
Uh- I believe Olivia left some from her last, uh, stay here."   
"Ooh. After-sex clothes. I keep mine under Xander's bed so his mother   
won't see them."   
Xander fidgeted nervously. "Um. Buff! That shower's looking pretty darn   
appealing right now."   
"I'm going," Buffy said, stifling a laugh. "Giles, can you just leave the   
clothes out on your bed? You don't mind if I change there, do you?"   
"No. Not at all."   
"Ok. I'll just...go shower."   
Buffy waved at the group nervously and headed up the stairs towards the   
bathroom, counting the seconds until the dried blood would be washed away and   
maybe things would start to make sense again.   
  
  
To Be Continued... 


	4. Part 4

What You Are (Part 4/?)   
AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker   
EMAIL: Buffonian@aol.com   
RATING: PG-13   
SUMMARY: Buffy heals from a deathly vampiric attack instantaneously. The   
Scoobs try to figure out what's going on.   
SPOILERS: Seasons 1-4   
FEEDBACK: I feel bad because I think I put out too much of a guilt trip   
last time. So dont feel like you have to. If you want to, great! If you   
don't, that's OK. I'll survive. But it would be nice :)   
DISTRIBUTION: FINNatics, of course. Anyone else, please ask.   
DISCLAIMER: Joss and his brilliant, utterly evil mind own these characters.   
DEDICATION: This part is dedicated to two people: Emmy, who I hope feels   
better! And also to Jodi, a dear friend who has been just...dear to me   
lately. Out with George!   
  
  
  
The mood in Giles' apartment had shifted in the last twenty minutes since   
Buffy had walked in the door with Riley. Where less than an hour ago they   
had feared her dead or near it, they could now here the water running   
upstairs as she took a shower.   
"Xander, get your mind out of the gutter," Willow said, smiling as she   
looked at her friend whose eyes were gazing at the ceiling.   
"Oh," Xander said, looking quickly to Willow. "I wasn't...I mean..I was   
just..."   
"Oh don't worry, Willow. We've found that fantasizing about other people   
actually spices up our sex life," Anya offered, grabbing a handful of Chex   
Mix and popping it into her mouth.   
"Oh really? Well, I found that not known about your sex life makes mine   
all the more enjoyable," Willow said, shooting a tired glance at Anya.   
Anya pouted, waiting for Xander's reaction. When there was none, she   
punched his shoulder.   
"Ow! What was that for?"   
"How come she doesn't get yelled at when she makes mean comments?"   
"Because. She's uh...Willow. And it doesn't happen too often so we let   
her have them. It's called a quota. She hasn't met hers and you fulfilled   
yours the first day I met you."   
"Thank you Xander," Willow said, smiling as she settled back into her   
seat on the couch.   
"Well, I don't think its fair. Rules are rules."   
"Anya! Can you please NOT!" Xander shouted.   
"Well, fine," Anya said, frowning. "But don't think you're getting any   
sex tonight!"   
"Fine. I'm still....sore from the other night anyway," Xander said in a   
low voice, hoping no one else had heard him.   
"Damnit!", Giles called out from the other room, slamming down the phone.   
"He's done that a lot today," Willow told Riley, who had been quiet for   
the last fifteen minutes.   
Riley nodded. "A lot of reason to."   
Giles walked into the room, his face flushed. "They won't talk to me. I   
told them that there is a situation with the slayer and they said they didn't   
care. Bloody idiots."   
"So we do this without them," Riley said, looking up at Giles, his hands   
clasped. "Apparently that's how you've been getting along for over a year   
now."   
"Yes, this is true, but there is certain information that only they can   
provide. Histories of past slayers. Medical records. These are the very   
things that can provide the answers we seek. The Council came in and removed   
those books from the library the week after I was fired."   
"So your memory, right? Well, that's gotta be good enough," Xander said.   
Giles sighed. "It should be but as a Watcher I felt concentrating on   
demons and prophecies was more important than knowing about past slayers. I   
know, of course, the basic information but I believe it is the more in-depth   
details that will be of service to us on this issue."   
"Where does that leave us?" Riley asked, his tone more insistent.   
"Square one, I believe the term is," Giles said, frustration creeping   
into every line of his face.   
"That's not good enough."   
"I know. I have a few contacts left inside the Council that may be   
willing to help me. I'll need to be on the phone for the next few hours or   
so."   
"What do we do?" Willow asked.   
"Willow, as usual, I believe research is in order. I don't know what else   
we can do at this point. Until we find out what is causing this..."   
"What about Buffy?" Xander asked, moving forward on his seat. "I   
mean...is she OK?"   
"She said she was stronger," Riley offered. "I think physically she's   
fine. Mentally, I don't know. She's feeling weak."   
"I don't understand. This should be like a big woohoo for Buffy. She   
can't get hurt. Why is she upset? If you ask me, she's just acting like a big   
crybaby."   
"She doesn't know what to expect anymore," Riley said, sighing. "It may   
look great, this healing thing, but it's not to her. It's like as soon as   
you're done with this big puzzle you discover an extra piece. But you don't   
know where it goes and it throws the whole picture off. She's just scared."   
  
*****   
  
Buffy's reflection stared back at her just as it had for the last twenty   
minutes. She stood in front of the mirror, clad only in a towel and felt the   
oddest sense of deja vu.   
She knew she should go downstairs and deal with everything that was going   
on but somehow her image in front of her seemed more pressing. She looked the   
same, her pointed nose, her hazel clear eyes that had reflected a sad longing   
since her 17th birthday, her blonde hair which she never seemed to get the   
way she wanted it. But she wasn't the same. It was like looking in the mirror   
and seeing a stranger with your face.   
"I don't even know who I am anymore," she said to herself, sighing.   
She frowned as she opened the door and walked towards Giles' bedroom. She   
stopped, hearing voices below. "Mentally...she's weak," she heard Riley say   
and she frowned. She knew it was true and she knew Riley knew it, but she had   
hoped that he wouldn't tell them how horrible she was feeling over the issue.   
She entered Giles' room and sat down on the bed, her fingers running over   
the fabric of the clothes he had left for her. Olivia was a few sizes larger   
than her, but baggy was in, or at least that's what Buffy remembered. She   
slipped the clothes on slowly, feeling that familiar moisture build up in her   
eyes as she heard Riley's words in her head. She was weak, and now everyone   
knew it.   
She stood up, brushing her newly fallen tears away. "I can do this," she   
said, taking a deep breath and walking out the door and down the stairs.   
"Buffy," Riley said, standing up and walking towards her. "Are you OK?"   
"I'm great," she said, rather unconvincingly. "What are we up to?"   
"Researching," Willow said, looking up from a book. "Surprised?"   
"Oh. Shocked is a better word," she said, smiling. "Any luck?"   
"To quote a Carpenter- We've Only Just Begun," Xander said, walking over   
to Buffy and handing her a book. "Dig in? I'm about to make a run for pizza."   
"Extra cheese?" Buffy asked, her eyes wide. It had been hours since she   
had hate and only then realized just how hungry she was.   
"For you Madam, anything," Xander said, bowing to her.   
Anya frowned behind him, curling her legs underneath her as she aimlessly   
paged through a book, not even glancing to see what was on each page. "I   
asked for anchovies and you said no."   
Willow frowned at Anya, turning a page. "Anya-"   
The phone rang, distracting everyone from their tasks. "Giles?" Xander   
called out.   
"I've got it," Giles said, picking up the phone. "Hello?", he answered.   
Giles looked up at Buffy, concern in his eyes. "Yes...Yes," Giles said,   
removing his glasses and leaning against the desk. "Thank you. I appreciate   
the heads up. I'll be in touch soon."   
"Giles? What's going on? What heads up?" Buffy asked as Giles hung up the   
phone. She moved over to him, Riley behind her. "Giles?"   
"That was...a contact of mine from the Council. Apparently their unit has   
been disposed for you Buffy. You need to get out of here. You're not safe."   
"Their unit? The same one they sent after Faith?"   
"Apparently."   
"Why? The only crime I've committed is jaywalking," she said, her eyes   
desperate.   
"I don't know Buffy. All I know is right now, we need to get you out of   
here."   
"But-"   
"Now!" he shouted, his eyes locking with hers which had began to tear   
again as she backed up from Giles. "I- Buffy, I'm sorry. But my contact said   
that time is of the essence and that- he said they would not fail this time."   
"They're going to kill me," Buffy said to herself, her eyes gazing   
downward.   
"Buffy we need to-" Riley started.   
"I know," she interrupted, turning around to look back at her boyfriend.   
"I know."   
"Buffy, we'll keep looking," Willow said, pulling her friend into a hug.   
"We'll find out what's going on."   
"I know Will. Take care," Buffy said, taking Riley's hand and walking out   
the door.   
"Giles?" Willow said after Buffy had left.   
"Yes, Willow?"   
"'Take care' That's what she said when she went off to face the Master.   
Before she- before she died. Do you think?"   
"Do I think she believes she will die again?"   
"Yeah."   
"Yes, I do. But I don't believe that will happen."   
"No," Xander said. "It won't. I wouldn't let it happen the first time and   
I won't let it happen again."   
"You didn't save her last time Xander," Anya said from the couch. "She   
died. You just brought her back."   
Xander glared at Anya. "Yeah well she's alive. And I intend to keep her   
that way."   
"How?" Willow asked.   
"I'm going to do what I did last time."   
"And what's that?" Giles asked.   
"I'm going to find Angel."   
  
TO BE CONTINUED....   



	5. Part 5

What You Are (Part 5/?)   
AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker   
EMAIL: Buffonian@aol.com   
RATING: PG-13   
SUMMARY: Buffy has the power to heal instantaneously. The Rogue Watcher's   
Council has been sent after her and she and Riley have gone into hiding.   
Xander has gone to Los Angeles to fetch Angel.   
SPOILERS: All seasons of "Buffy" and "Angel"   
FEEDBACK: Yes please! I've begged for it, I've pleaded for it, now I'm   
just asking nicely for it. Make my day and let me know what you think!   
DISTRIBUTION: FINNatics of course! All others, please ask.   
DISCLAIMER: Joss owns all. 'Nuff said.   
DEDICATION: As always, the usual suspects: Jodi, Emmy, Jen, Ben and Caro.   
  
  
"I don't see why you have to go," Anya said matter-of-factly as she   
leaned against the hood of Uncle Rory's convertible. "What's Angel going to   
do? Come here and identify the body?"   
"Anya, shut up! Don't you realize that you can't say things like that!   
Buffy's not going to die," Xander said, crossing his arms to restrain   
himself from the desire to choke Anya for saying something so insensitive,   
even for her.   
"Whatever. All he's going to do is come here and be mopey like you and   
Willow."   
"Fine. That's fine. The more the merrier, right?" Xander walked over to   
the driver's door, opening it and sliding into the seat, not even looking at   
his girlfriend.   
"Xander," Anya said, walking over next to him. "I'm sorry. I just…I   
need you more than she does right now."   
"Why? How?"   
"Because…because we haven't made love in two days!" she said, pouting.   
"Oh yeah. That's some reason. You're right!" Xander said, mockingly.   
"What am I thinking of running off to try and save my friend's life? You're   
horny! Obviously that should come first!"   
"Well, I'm glad you see things my way." Xander sighed, shaking his head.   
"I'll see you in a few days."   
"Aren't we going to kiss?" she asked, leaning over the window as he   
turned the key in the ignition.   
"You know what? I really don't feel like it," Xander said, throwing the   
car into gear and driving away, leaving a frustrated Anya behind.   
"Xander!" she called out, but the car was already turning the corner.   
  
******   
  
Buffy sighed as she entered the familiar apartment, goosebumps   
automatically covering her flesh. It seemed like forever since she had been   
here and for that she was glad; the place held too many painful memories for   
her to return to it often.   
Her eyes glanced over to the bed, adorned with the same red sheets; the   
blanket neatly folded into a pile at the base.   
"We should be safe here," Buffy said, turning to Riley. "I-I haven't   
been here in over two years so I doubt they'll be looking for me here."   
"What is this place?" Riley said, admiring the statue to the left of the   
door.   
"It's- it was Angel's apartment," she said, taking his hand. "I know   
this must be weird for you but I had to think of somewhere safe I could go."   
Riley nodded, frowning. "I understand. Can we sit?" he asked, tilting   
his head towards the bed.   
"No," Buffy said, shaking. "I mean, we can. Just not..there."   
"Oh," Riley said, turning his gaze from the bed to her. "Oh. I see."   
"Yeah," she said nervously. "Is this- is that too much for you? I mean,   
if it is we can hide out in the high school. It's just- I thought…"   
"No. It's OK," Riley said, leading Buffy to a chair.   
She sunk down into it, looking up at him. "Thank you."   
Riley knelt down beside her, running his fingers through her hair until   
his palm rested on the side of her face, cupping it. "Buffy, there's   
something I want to say to you- about Angel."   
Buffy nodded, unsure of what was coming.   
"I've been thinking about this a lot since he came to town. We really   
haven't had much of a chance to talk about it. I know- I know that it is over   
between you. I don't doubt you at all, I want you to know that."   
"Thank you," she said again, her voice low.   
"But I do know that you will always love him," he said, and seeing her   
about to protest placed his finger on her lips. "Shh. Just listen to me."   
She nodded. "I know that a part of you will always love him and I understand   
that. I accept that. I don't like it and I wish that it was different but   
it's a part of you Buffy, and I love every single thing about you. "   
"I don't deserve you," she said, taking his hand and pressing it to her   
lips.   
"You deserve me and more," he said, smiling. "But you're stuck with me   
either way. I'm not an easy man to get rid of."   
"That's never going to be an issue, Riley."   
"Good." Riley's smile faded as he turned to the bed again. "I know you   
have…issues with this place." He turned back to her, his eyes connecting   
with hers. "But you need rest and I'm not letting you sleep on the floor."   
"Chair," Buffy said, shaking her head. "I can sleep in the chair. I   
just- I can't."   
"I understand," Riley said. "I'm not too keen on sleeping there   
either."   
"I'm sorry," she said. "Maybe this wasn't the greatest idea after   
all." "Hey. I'll be fine," Riley said, standing up. "The floor is good   
enough for me. I've had worse."   
Buffy frowned, wondering why everything tonight reminded her of something   
from before. It seemed a million years ago that Angel had uttered those very   
words in HER bedroom, before she knew he was a vampire. That had been when   
he was just this strangely attractive and alluring guy she just couldn't stop   
thinking about. A million years away from where she was now, and she   
wouldn't go back for the world.   
"Are you sure?" she asked, feeling selfish suddenly. He was the one who   
was still injured; she was the one who couldn't stay hurt for long,   
seemingly.   
"I'm positive. Listen, I'm just going to make a sweep of the perimeter   
and call it a night. Why don't you go to sleep? I'll be back in a few   
minutes." "OK," Buffy said, nodding. She would argue to go with him but   
the events of the evening had overtaxed her and she could feel sleep drape   
its arm around her, pulling her into unconsciousness. "I love you Riley,"   
she said, yawning.   
"I love you too. And I'll be right back."   
"I know."   
  
******   
  
"How many are out there?" Giles asked, his eyes roaming over the pages   
of a book he hoped kept some of the secrets to Buffy's newly found healing   
powers.   
"I can see two now," Willow said, peeking out from beneath the curtains.   
"One's behind the bush and the other is in the shadows near the north wall."   
She sighed. "This isn't good, Giles. What happens if we leave? Do they   
attack us or are they just after Buffy?"   
"I fear the former may be true," he said, sighing as he glanced up at   
the redhead. "When I spoke to my contact again he said that this group- the   
Rogue Watcher's Council has become more ruthless than ever. There was a   
terrible shame concerning the numerous Faith debacles and they have hired-   
basically the human equivalent of the Order of Taraka."   
"Bounty hunters?"   
"Yes, basically. These men have been associated with the Watcher's   
Council for extreme cases, usually of the demonic sort. But these men- their   
only allegiance is towards the Council, and of course, the money and their   
target has now become Buffy herself."   
"I don't understand. Do you think this is connected with Buffy's healing   
thing?"   
"It must be. This has all happened so suddenly. Thank goodness Buffy and   
Riley escaped when they did."   
"And Xander and Anya too," Willow added. "Do you think he's doing the   
right thing- bringing Angel into this?"   
"Right now," Giles said, moving over to the window and taking a look for   
himself. "I think we can use all the help we can get. Angel is quite the   
ally. And- as much as it pains me to say this, I believe Wesley will be of   
some help to us as well."   
"Double the watcher knowledge," Willow said, nodding.   
"Yes, that would be the plan. But our only problem is- if we can't get   
out, they can't get in."   
"I don't think Angel has ever let that stop him before."   
"True enough," Giles said, sighing as he slammed the book he had been   
perusing. "We're not finding anything tonight. Why don't I sleep on the   
couch and you can take my bedroom?"   
"Two girls in your bedroom in one night, Giles? Are you trying to set a   
personal record?" Willow asked, grinning.   
Giles blushed, chuckling softly. "Willow, I believe you have been hanging   
out with Anya too much lately."   
Willow smiled. "Touché. Are you sure you don't mind sleeping on the   
couch?" "Not at all," Giles said. "I'll probably stay up for a few   
hours longer and keep an eye on our friends outside."   
"OK. Call me if you need me. Oh..and if Tara calls, wake me up?"   
"Of course," Giles said, picking up a fresh book. "Good Night."   
"Good Night," Willow called out as she walked up the stairs, yawning the   
whole way.   
  
******   
Outside, a third bounty hunter crossed the lawn, low to the ground. He   
ducked behind a bush, checking his rifle. All was well and in less than a   
day, the invasion would begin.   
  
TO BE CONTINUED...   



	6. Part 6

What You Are (Part 6/?)   
AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker   
EMAIL: LaVelleBelle@aol.com   
RATING: PG-13   
SUMMARY: Buffy has the power to heal instantaneously   
and bounty hunters for the Watchers Council   
are after her. Xander has gone to get Angel from LA.   
SPOILERS: Seasons 1-4 of "Buffy" and Season 1 of   
"Angel"   
DISTRIBUTION: FINNatics, of course. All others, please ask.   
FEEDBACK: Yes please! Nothing makes me write harder   
or faster!   
DISCLAIMER: Joss owns all, except for a well deserved   
Emmy!   
DEDICATION: To Jodi and Prophecy- You two rock! To   
Jen, fearless leader and Emmy- my evil twin!   
  
  
The trip to Los Angeles had taken Xander twice as long as he originally   
intended, mostly due to the fact that he had been pulled over twice. Luckily   
he had smooth talked his way out of the first ticket, but when the same cop   
pulled him over twenty minutes later, it was ticketville for Xander.   
He knew he shouldn't be speeding, but he had a feeling that time was of   
the essence. This situation with Buffy was intense, and the sooner he got to   
Angel, the better.   
He sighed as he pulled off the expressway and onto the exit ramp for Los   
Angeles. Only a few minutes more, he thought to himself as he rolled up his   
windows and quickly switched on the air conditioning, feeling the cool breeze   
on his legs.   
"I need some tunes," Xander said to himself, flipping on the radio.   
"Feeling I've been lost for years, you can never understand me..." the   
voice from the radio sang out.   
"Dingoes!" Xander called out, smiling as he increased the volume. It was   
odd, hearing a Sunnydale band on a Los Angeles radio station and Xander felt   
strangely proud. Poor Oz. As soon as he had left the band to go on his   
retreat to Nepal, the band had hit. He was probably kicking himself right   
about now, wherever he was.   
Xander stopped at a red light, tapping the steering wheel. He was more   
nervous than he cared to admit- he hadn't seen Cordelia since she left   
Sunnydale last summer. He frowned as he remembered finding out she had gone   
without even saying goodbye. He hadn't taken it well and it still hurt him to   
think about how betrayed he felt when he found out.   
A few minutes later and Xander was pulling up in front of the office. He   
shut off the car and took a deep breath as he stepped out into the street.   
  
*****   
"Cordelia, where is the file on Mr. Jovanovich?" Angel asked, unpacking a   
box of coffee filters and packaged beans.   
"Um, I think it's in one of those cardboard boxes," she said, typing a   
letter on her new computer.   
"Yes, Cordelia, but which one?" Angel asked, lifting the cover off one of   
the 20 boxes that still waited to be unpacked.   
Cordelia looked helplessly at Angel, shrugging her shoulders.   
"Angel, I believe it's in this box here," Wesley said, opening the box   
nearest him. "I labeled the contents on the lid so our move would be easier."   
"Thank you Wesley," Angel said, taking the file which Wesley offered him.   
"You're very welcome. What is the latest on Mr. Jovanovich?"   
"I closed the case last night. Turns out the 'demon' that was bothering   
him was a couple of neighborhood kids playing a practical joke."   
"With demon ectoplasm?"   
"It's LA," Angel said, shrugging. "They really go all out."   
"I do say! Well, I say now that that case is closed we should simply work   
on acclimating ourselves to our new offices. Has Mr. Nabbit been by   
recently?"   
"Not since he dropped off the check," Cordelia said, getting out from   
behind her desk. "In fact, there's been no one at all here since him. I think   
we need to get the word out about our new location."   
"I had no problem finding it," Xander said, walking through the entrance,   
smiling as he dug his hands into his pockets.   
The room was silent for a few seconds before Angel stepped forward,   
extending his hand to the boy. "Xander. Nice to see you again."   
Xander nodded, gripping Angel's hand. "Yeah," he said, his eyes fixed on   
Cordelia, his mind swimming with thoughts of how beautiful she looked- and   
how different.   
"Wesley," Xander said, turning his gaze reluctantly to the ex-watcher.   
"Been a long time."   
"I'm afraid so, Xander," Wesley said.   
"Cordelia, you look amazing," Xander said, walking over to his   
ex-girlfriend. Instinct took him over and he pulled her into a hug, his arms   
wrapping around her small frame; his face nuzzled in her hair, which felt   
softer than ever.   
"Xander, I..." Cordelia started nervously as she pulled out of the hug,   
her heart beating fast. "I've missed you."   
"I missed you too," he said. "I wanted to say goodbye to you..when you   
left- but you left without..."   
"I know," she said, interrupting. "I'm sorry."   
"Shall we leave you two alone?" Wesley asked, looking at Angel   
questioningly.   
"No," Xander said, frowning. "I...I'd love to do the small chat and catch   
up thing but I have more pressing matters to discuss."   
"Buffy," Angel said, taking a deep breath. "Is something wrong?"   
"Unfortunately, yes," Xander said, sighing. "We have one hell of a   
situation back in Sunnydale and I think we could use your help. All of you."   
"What's going on?"   
"To make a long story short, Buffy was attacked pretty badly by a gang of   
vampires. We didn't think she was going to make it..."   
Angel tensed up, his whole body shaking. "Is she OK? What happened?"   
"She's...she's fine. Better than ever, even. That's the thing, Angel. She   
healed- like, instantaneously 100 percent. She's freaked because she doesn't   
feel she knows who she is anymore- or what. And now- the big bads from the   
Watcher's Council are after her and- we need your help."   
"Oh dear," Wesley said, removing his glasses. "The Watcher's Council-   
this is not good at all."   
"Do you know what's going on, Wes?" Angel asked, pacing as he thought of   
how scared she must be feeling right now. He knew from his experience with   
the Gem of Amara that invulnerability was not all it was cracked up to be.   
"I have some ideas- some theories that I've been formulating about the   
Council that may bring some light to the issue. Of course, I'll need to   
speak to Giles."   
"That's pretty much the plan. Let me call Giles and make sure we're a 'Go   
for Launch'," Xander said, heading towards the phone. "Is that OK?"   
"Of course," Angel said, leaning against the door.   
Xander quickly dialed Giles' number and after a short ring, he picked up.   
"Hello?" Giles answered, his voice harried.   
"Giles, it's Xander. I'm here in LA with Angel. Wes thinks he knows   
what's up," Xander said, his eyes still on Cordelia as he spoke.   
"Xander, you need to bring Angel here as quickly as you can. Willow and   
I are inside my apartment and surrounded by the Council's bounty hunters,   
armed quite like a small platoon."   
"Buffy?"   
"She's somewhere safe for now, but Willow and I are not. We need help,   
preferably in the form of heavy artillery."   
"We're on our way. Stay safe," Xander said, hanging up. He turned to   
Angel, frowning. "We have to motor. Giles and Willow are trapped inside their   
apartment, there are bounty hunters outside armed and dangerous and Buffy is   
hiding out somewhere with Riley."   
"We can drive there now," Angel said. "Wesley and I can share a car and   
Cordelia can go with you. That is, if it's OK with you, Cordelia?"   
"That's perfect," Cordelia said, smiling. "Xander and I have a lot of   
catching up to do."   
"Great. Angel, Giles requested weapons so maybe we can stock up before we   
go?"   
"Sounds like a plan," Angel said, walking towards the elevator. "I'll be   
right back."   
Angel opened the elevator door, moving his way inside and quickly   
pressing the down button. This evening had taken a sudden turn for the worse   
and the thought of seeing Buffy again, in danger and with Riley was not   
making him happy. The sooner they resolved this, the better. Even he could   
only take so much.   
  
*****   
  
"Riley?" Buffy called out, sitting up in the chair. Her bones were sore   
from sleeping in an awkward position and she stretched, looking around the   
apartment. Instantly, goosebumps covered her skin. This was the last place   
on Earth she wanted to wake up and find her significant other someplace   
other.   
"I'm here," Riley said, opening the door and walking inside. "I was in   
the hallway. I wanted to give you some peace and quiet."   
"What about you, Riley? You need sleep too."   
"I'm used to it," he said, shrugging. "Besides, I was...reading."   
"What?" Buffy asked, getting up from her seat and walking towards where   
Riley stood, staring at the book clutched in his hand. "What is that?"   
"Angel's diary," he said, his voice shaking. He had hemmed and hawed   
about letting her know what he had found and revealing to her that he had   
invaded the vampire's privacy, but he wanted to be honest with her. "I was   
looking around- I couldn't sleep and I found it."   
"His d-diary?" Buffy asked, her hands shaking as she reached out to touch   
the leather cover of the book. "Give it to me," she said sternly.   
"Buffy, I-"   
"No Riley. Now. Give it to me now. You had no right to read that."   
"I know I didn't but- I...I don't know why I did. I'm sorry."   
Buffy bit her lip, trying hard not to let herself cry- there had been too   
much of that tonight already. She reached over and tore the book from his   
hands, clutching it to her chest. "I can't believe you."   
"I didn't know how much he loved you," Riley said, his voice soft and   
apologetic. "I don't think I ever realized the magnitude of your   
relationship. And the fact that all that was written before you- made love,"   
Riley shook his head, "I can never compete with that."   
"What?" Buffy said, looking up at him, her eyes wet. "Riley, I-," she   
started, but a bright light erupted in the room and Buffy instinctively   
covered her eyes. "Riley!" she called out, but she felt everything fade away   
as something hit her, pushing her back onto the floor where she fell on top   
of Riley who already lay an unconscious mass beneath her.   
  
*****   
  
Xander's car sped along the expressway back to Sunnydale, careful not to   
veer too far over the speed limit. "So you were pregnant?"   
"Yes, but it was like a demon 24-hour thing. Wes and Angel saved me. They   
were great," she said, smiling. "Of course, it totally turned me off to the   
dating scene for a while."   
"Yeah well, now you know how I felt after Ms. French and Ampata"   
"Totally," Cordelia said, laughing. "That is one dating trend I will no   
longer knock you for. This year alone I had demon spawn lover boy and, well,   
Doyle- but he was only half demon and he was," she said, pausing, "he was   
Doyle. It just didn't get much better than that."   
Xander frowned, taking his frustration out on the gas pedal as the car's   
speed rose to 70 miles per hour. "Yeah well. That's great that you loved   
him," Xander said unconvincingly.   
Cordelia sighed. Obviously this was a topic Xander didn't want to talk   
about and frankly, neither did she- months later, it was still a painful   
topic. "How about you? Have anyone special in your life?"   
"Well," Xander said, breathing deeply. "I do actually have a girlfriend."   
"Really?" Cordelia asked, feeling an unwanted pang of jealousy. "Who?"   
"Anya," Xander said, quickly taking his eyes off the road to look at her.   
"Vengeance demon chick? Chick who tried to kill Willow and half the   
Bronze?"   
"Not her finest moment, I admit..."   
"I just thought you would go to the Prom with her and that would be the   
end of it."   
"So did I, actually," Xander said, grinning. "But she came back a few   
months later-"   
"After she ran away from the Ascension leaving you and all your friends   
to die?"   
"OK, so I'm getting you're not the biggest fan of Anya," Xander said,   
smirking.   
"Well, it's good to see your detective skills are still as sharp as   
ever," Cordelia said, shifting in her seat uncomfortably. She didn't know why   
she was reacting like this and she wasn't too thrilled about it either.   
"She's changed. She's working on the whole 'act like a decent human   
being' thing," he said, changing into the right lane as he noticed the   
Sunnydale exit approaching.   
"Yeah well, wish her luck with that!" Cordelia said, sarcastically.   
"Cordy, I'm sorry. I- I think it's ending with Anya and me. She's just-   
all it's about anymore is sex."   
"Sex?" Cordelia said, shocked. "You're having sex with her?"   
"I'm not a kid, Cordelia," Xander said, driving onto the exit. "Of course   
we did."   
"Oh," she said, turning to look outside her window, concentrating on the   
lines in the road moving past. "I just thought- you would save your first   
time for someone special."   
"My first time?" Xander asked, looking at her. Realization dawned on him   
and his eyes automatically went back to the road. "Oh."   
"Oh?" Cordelia repeated. "Oh?? Anya wasn't your first. Well, you were a   
virgin when you were with me, right?"   
"Yes," Xander said, gulping.   
"So that means that somewhere between me and her- there was someone."   
"That would be...a fair assessment," Xander said, gripping the wheel as   
he made a sharp right.   
"So who was it?"   
"You don't want to know," Xander said, slowing the car to a halt a block   
away from Giles' apartment.   
"Oh my God, it was Willow, wasn't it? You two got back together when Oz   
wasn't looking!   
"No," Xander said, putting the parking brake on. "It wasn't Willow. It   
was Faith."   
"Faith?!" Cordelia exclaimed, pulling off her seatbelt. "Slayer Faith?   
Miss Skeeze and Trampy and So wrong for you??!"   
"Yeah well, she's dropped that name," Xander said. "Look Cordelia- it was   
a mistake I made one night and I regret it. I wish my first time had been   
with someone I loved- someone like you," Xander said, moving his hand over to   
Cordelia's.   
"Xander," Cordelia said, looking up at him, her eyes damp with tears. "I-"   
The window smashed in, cutting off Cordelia's words. "Get out of the car   
now," the man said, unlocking the door as he reached his arm around the   
broken window.   
"Xander, Drive!" Cordelia said, but before he had a chance, the man   
yanked Cordelia out through the window, the glass cutting her skin as she   
moved over it. "See what happens when you don't do what you're told?" the man   
with the accent said.   
Xander jumped out of the car, trying to run at the man that held   
Cordelia, but a pair of arms grabbed him as well. "Now now, we'll have none   
of those heroics, Mr. Harris. You do as you're told and you'll have your   
little girlfriend back. You tell Ms. Summers that either she turns herself   
in, or we turn Ms. Chase inside out. Do you understand?" he asked, his tone   
menacing.   
Xander looked around helplessly, wondering where Angel and Wesley were.   
Damnit, he thought to himself- if only I hadn't sped the whole way! "You're   
going to die," Xander said. "You hurt her- they'll have to think up a new   
word for what I'm going to do to you."   
"We'll see about that, Mr. Harris," the man behind him said, pushing what   
felt like a blade into his back, and automatically Xander fell to the ground   
in pain. A van pulled up beside him and he watched helplessly as the man   
tossed Cordelia inside the back of it and quickly shut the door. "Let's hope   
you do the smart thing- for once. She has until tomorrow at sundown- she'll   
know where to find us," he said, hopping into the front and slamming the door   
as the van drove away, the sound of the skidding tires filling Xander's ears   
as he lay on the ground, his hands reaching around his back and feeling the   
blood there.   
"Cordelia," Xander called out, his voice weak. He was beginning to lose   
consciousness when he heard a car pull up only feet away.   
"Xander!" Wesley said, rushing to the spot where Xander lay bleeding.   
"Wesley, help him," Angel said, a strange lilt to his voice from a few   
feet back. Even in semiconsciousness he could tell that his blood was at once   
inviting and repulsive to the vampire.   
"Cordelia?" Wesley asked, lifting Xander to his feet. "Where is   
Cordelia??"   
"They took her," Xander said, sobbing. "They're going to kill Cordelia if   
Buffy doesn't- doesn't turn herself into them."   
Angel cursed, angry at the situation and wanting more than anything to   
tear one of these bounty hunters' throats out. "Wesley, take him to the   
hospital. I'm going to make my way into Giles and work on ending this. No one   
is giving themselves and no one is dying- except them."   
Wesley nodded, supporting Xander's weight. "Good luck, Angel. I fear   
you'll need it."   
"No, I won't," Angel said. "I have pure rage on my side. Start praying   
for them."   
  
To be continued... 


	7. Part 7

  


What You Are (Part 7/?)   
AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker   
EMAIL: LaVelleBelle@aol.com   
RATING: PG-13   
SUMMARY: The Rogue Watcher's Council is after Buffy because of her power to   
heal instantaneously. Xander fetched the gang from LA but the Council has   
kidnapped Cordelia and promised to kill her if Buffy doesn't turn herself in.   
FEEDBACK: Yes please! The lack of feedback lately has been both depressing   
and discouraging.   
DISTRIBUTION: At my brand spanking new site   
(http://www.geocities.com/rebeccafic) and also at FINNatics. Anyone else,   
please ask!   
DEDICATION: Simply put: To all those who gave me feedback on the last part,   
and sadly, that's not many. Thanks for making me feel like this story counts.   
  
  
Angel looked up at the sky, frowning as he made his way around the South   
wall of Giles' apartment. The sun was almost coming up and he had to make his   
way inside before it happened. Unfortunately, the two men with rifles in the   
bushes in front of the entrance could be a problem.   
He crouched down low, edging his way towards the door. There was no time   
to lose, and he wasn't about to let a few gunshots stop him- they would be   
painful, but not fatal. Not getting in the house was a different story   
altogether.   
"Hey," Angel called out, standing up in front of the entrance. "Now I'm   
gonna walk in the house and you're gonna let me through."   
One of the masked gunmen stood up, swinging his rifle towards Angel's   
head but missing it as Angel swerved his body to the right, landing a punch   
in the man's stomach.   
"Somehow I thought that idea wouldn't go over too well," Angel said,   
grabbing the man by his shirt and tossing him over the bush.   
The second raced towards Angel, his gun pointed squarely at the vampire.   
"You're not going in there," the man said, his British accent thick.   
"Yeah well, we'll see about that," Angel said, grabbing the gun from him,   
but not before a shot was let off, ripping a hole in Angel's shoulder.   
"Damnit," he said, wincing as the blood began to flow down his arm. "Now you   
pissed me off," Angel said, smashing the gun at the man's nose, the audible   
sound of cracking bones filling the air.   
  
*   
  
Giles heard a gunshot outside and was up from the couch in an instant,   
staring out the window. He couldn't see anything and an awful feeling of doom   
filled his stomach.   
"Giles?" Willow called out, racing down the stairs. "Was that what I   
think it was?"   
"I believe so," Giles said, moving to another window and peeking outside.   
"I just don't know who was hit," he said. "Damnit! I can't see anything!"   
"You don't think-" Willow started, but a violent knock on the door   
interrupted her.   
"Giles!" Angel called out, continuing to knock with his right hand. "It's   
Angel, let me in!"   
Giles rushed over to the door, pulling it open. Angel quickly stepped   
over the threshold, closing the door behind him.   
"You're shot," Willow said, frowning as she wiped the last remnants of   
sleep from her eyes. "Are you OK?"   
"Yeah," Angel said, removing his jacket. "It smarts like hell but I'll be   
healed up soon. I just need someone to remove the bullet," he said, looking   
up at Giles. "Feel up to it?'   
"I suppose," Giles said, rolling up his sleeves. "Willow, would you fetch   
the brandy?"   
Willow started to head towards the kitchen, but Angel called out to her.   
"No. No brandy. I need to be alert. We've got a lot to deal with. But, uh,   
before we begin can we close the curtains so I can still be around to tell   
you about them?" he asked, wincing as he sensed the sun about to rise.   
"Oh!" Willow said, turning around. "Sorry!" She ran towards the windows,   
quickly drawing the curtains so that most of the sunlight would be blocked   
from entering the room.   
"Thanks Willow," Angel said, removing his shirt and dropping it to the   
floor.   
"What of the two men outside?" Giles asked, applying alcohol to Angel's   
wound.   
"They'll be out of commission for a bit," he said, sitting down in the   
chair so that Giles could have better access. "I think there are more out   
there tho."   
"You saw more?" Willow asked.   
"No. I could, um, hear their blood pumping," Angel said, looking away   
from her, embarrassed.   
"Oh," Willow said, sitting down on the couch and picking up the last book   
she had been looking through before she had headed to sleep. "That's a handy   
trick."   
"Sometimes," Angel admitted, jumping a bit as Giles cut into his skin.   
"It's also very distracting. I can't do crossword puzzles with anyone else   
around."   
Giles smiled as he opened Angel's wound up, carefully digging inside for   
the offending bullet. "Where are the others?" he asked. "Did they not come   
with you?"   
Angel frowned, looking over at Willow who had moved herself nearer to   
them. "Our situation just got a little more serious," Angel said, gritting   
his teeth against the pain. "Cordelia has been kidnapped by associates of the   
men outside. They said they are going to kill her if Buffy does not turn   
herself in."   
"Dear God," Giles said, removing the bullet and placing it into a glass   
of water that sat beside him. "Where are Xander and Wesley?"   
"Xander was stabbed by the men," he started, looking at Willow whose face   
had become ashen in the last few seconds. "Nothing too serious, but Wesley   
took him to the hospital."   
"Damnit," Giles said, applying a bandage to Angel's wound. "How did it   
all fall apart so quickly?"   
"I don't know but we're going to fix this," Angel said, picking his   
tattered shirt from the ground and placing it back on his chest.   
"How can you be so sure?" Willow said sadly. "One friend is in the   
hospital, one is in the hands of the enemy and one is God knows where hiding   
out from a bunch of heavily armed men who want her dead. I don't know which   
issue to worry about most and which to deal with first."   
"Well, first of all, we need to take care of the men outside and get out   
of this house," Giles said. "We're just sitting ducks until then and I'm sure   
Angel's tirade against them will only serve to anger them."   
"OK," Angel said, standing up as he felt the wound already begin to   
repair itself. "This is the plan. We have about an hour before the two   
outside wake up. We need to need now if we stand a chance."   
"But it's daytime, Angel," Willow said. "What about you?"   
"I'll do it the old-fashioned way," he said, looking to Giles. "I assume   
you don't mind lending me a large blanket?"   
Giles nodded. "I'll go get one ," he said, running up the stairs.   
Angel turned to Willow. "We're going to need a diversionary spell. Can   
you do that?"   
"Sure!" Willow said, perking up a bit. "I can summon a mist outside the   
apartment so they can't see too well. Would that work?"   
"It sounds perfect Willow, thanks," he said. "I'm not going to be much   
help with a blanket over my head so we're going to have to try to sneak past   
whoever is left out there."   
Willow nodded, heading towards her bag. "It's a simple spell. I think I   
have all the ingredients on me, luckily enough.   
"Good. Start working on that now. The sooner we get outta here, the   
better."   
Giles walked down the stairs, a heavy blanket in hand. "Here," Giles   
said, passing it to Angel. "It's quite thick. No sun should get through.   
"Thanks," Angel said, unfolding it. "Willow's going to create some mist   
outside so we can get past them. I say we leave now."   
"Yes," Giles said, "I think that's an excellent idea. We need to find   
Buffy and tell her what is going on."   
"Do you know where she is?" Angel asked, slipping on his jacket.   
"No," Giles said, sighing. "I was hoping you might know where she would   
go."   
"I might," Angel said after a moment. "I can't be sure but it's worth a   
try."   
"Well, it's better than nothing at all," Giles said, opening his trunk   
and pulling out a few weapons. "Willow, how is that spell coming?"   
"Just about there," Willow said, readying the ingredients around her. A   
few words of Latin later, and Willow nodded to them. "We're good to go."   
"Straight to the car and as quickly and quietly as we can," Angel said   
before shrouding himself in the blanket and headed towards the door, Giles   
and Willow directly behind.   
Once outside, Willow worried that she did TOO good a job- she could   
hardly see Giles and Angel in front of her but didn't dare to call out to   
them. She simply walked in the general direction of Giles' car.   
A hand grabbed at her and before she had a chance to scream, Giles' face   
appeared out of the mist, his finger on his lips.   
She nodded, letting him pull her to the car. She quickly jumped in the   
front seat, and looking behind her saw Angel huddled under the blankets in   
the backseat.   
Giles slipped into the driver's seat and started his car, making sure to   
pull away immediately. He looked back in the rearview mirror and saw an armed   
man in the street behind him, his gun aimed at them. "Get Down!" Giles   
commanded, ducking himself but unwilling to stop the car.   
Willow crouched down just in time as a bullet ripped through the rear   
window, piercing the front window where her head had been only seconds   
earlier. "Oh my God," she said as the glass landed in her lap.   
"Willow, are you OK?" Angel asked worriedly from the backseat.   
"I...I'm OK," Willow said, sitting back up as Giles turned a corner.   
"Giles? Are you alright?"   
"Yes," he said. "I cannot believe the lengths to which they are going   
to."   
"Where are we going?" Willow asked, brushing the glass off her.   
"My old apartment," Angel said from beneath the blanket.   
"Where you and Buffy-" Giles began.   
"Yes," Angel said and although they could not see his face, they could   
hear the pain in his voice. "I think that's where she is."   
Giles glanced at Willow, the same look of worry on her face. "OK," he   
said, aiming the car towards Angel's old place.   
  
******   
  
"Riley?" Buffy called out, her eyes opening wearily. She could hardly   
remember what had happened- all she recalled was a large bright light and   
falling on top of Riley's unconscious figure.   
She started to shake, worrying about him. "Riley!"   
"Buffy, I'm here," she heard from behind her. A hand was on her shoulder   
then and she reached up to hold it. "Are you ok?" she said, turning around,   
her arms pulling him into an embrace. "Where are we?"   
"I don't know," Riley said, looking around, his arms still encircling   
Buffy. "What happened?"   
Buffy shrugged, struggling to get to her feet. Riley was beside her in a   
moment. "I know this place," Buffy said, looking around. "I've been here   
before."   
"You have?" Riley asked. "Where are we then?"   
"Wait a minute," Buffy said, confused. "Let me think." She looked around,   
trying to remember. "Oh my God," Buffy said, realization setting in. "This is   
their place- the Watcher Council- they brought me here when I was in Faith's   
body- they brought me here to kill me."   
"We gotta get outta here," Riley said, grabbing hold of Buffy and walking   
towards the door.   
"You can't leave," a female voice said from behind them.   
Buffy turned around, shocked at who she saw before them. "Tara?"   
  
To Be Continued.....   
  



	8. Part 8

**TITLE:** What You Are (Part 8/9)   
**EMAIL:** LaVelleBelle@aol.com   
**RATING:** PG-13   
**DISCLAIMER:** Joss owns all, including my heart. Thank you Joss for giving me so much.   


Xander winced as a fresh shot of pain coursed through every nerve on his back. He had only been out of the Emergency Room for 5 minutes and already the few painkillers they had given him were wearing off. He slid into the front seat, careful not to agitate his wound. "Ow," he said, frowning.

"Are you alright?" Wesley asked, settling into the driver's seat and starting the car's ignition. "Do you want me to run inside and get you some more painkillers?"

"No," Xander said, sighing as he leaned his arm out the broken window. "I just want to find Cordelia and end this as soon as possible. I mean- God only knows what happened in the hour we were in the hospital. She could be-"

"She's not," Wesley said, pulling the car out onto the street and driving down the street.

"How can you be so sure? I wouldn't put it past those bastards."

"Cordelia would not allow herself to go out with such little drama," Wesley said, grinning as he made a quick right.

"Such little drama?" Xander asked, amused. "Would you like a refresher course on the night's events?"

"No, I stand by my statement," Wesley said, smiling. "This IS Cordelia Chase we are talking about."

"You do have a point there," Xander said, wincing as he brushed against the seat as Wesley made a quick left onto an abandoned street with rundown factories on both sides. "You know, you're driving like you know where you're going," Xander remarked, looking at Wesley.

"I do," Wesley said, slowing his car down in front of the only factory with a light on inside. "One of the Rogue Watchers, Weatherby, likes to run his mouth off when he's drunk. During his short visit to Los Angeles, he let a little story slip about where they had taken Faith when they captured her a few months back. This would be the place he spoke of," Wesley said, shutting off the engine and nodding to the factory.

"Then this is it," Xander said, his hand on the door handle. "She's inside. We have to get her out of there."

"I know, Xander," Wesley said, looking at the boy. "But we need to be quiet. And careful."

"Careful's my middle name," Xander said, stepping out of the car; in an instant, only steps behind Wesley.

**********

"Tara?" Buffy repeated again, not able to believe what she was seeing in front of her eyes. She turned to Riley, seeing the same confusion on his face.

"Buffy," Tara said, nodding.

"You?" Buffy said, her voice hurt. "You're one of them. They're going to kill me and you're part of that."

"No," Tara said, stepping forward; Buffy automatically taking a step of her own back. "It's not what it seems. Please let me explain."

"Explain what?" Riley said, moving in front of Buffy protectively, although he knew the act probably only served to annoy the Slayer. "Explain how somehow you think you're going to stop us from getting the hell out of here?"

"You can't leave," Tara said again, her voice soft.

"And why not?" Buffy said, angry. "I've never heard of the Council having a valid reason for doing anything before, so I'm kinda interested to hear if you can do any better."

Tara sighed, realizing that now was the time to lay all her cards out on the table. "You can't leave because in three minutes, Xander and a British gentleman named Wesley will walk through that door," Tara said, pointing to one behind Buffy. "And in about three and a half minutes, a group of heavily armed men will walk through that door," she said, pointing to one opposite. "If you leave, there will be a fight and Xander will die."

Buffy stood there, unsure of what to say. "H-how do you know that?"

Tara smiled weakly. "I'm what you may call a seer. I was sent here by the Powers that Be to watch over all of you and to make sure no harm came to you. I have had visions in the past of times when, had I not interceded, there would have been grave consequences. For example, a few months ago, Willow and I performed a spell to locate Adam. Had we succeeded, Giles would have been paralyzed from the neck down. Knowing this, I hid the dust necessary for the spell and at that time, we did not find him."

"That spell," Buffy said, thinking. "Willow always wondered why it didn't work. It was- because of you?"

Tara nodded. "Yes. The other day, I received a vision showing what would happen if you did not show up to intercede here and I needed to make sure you were brought to this factory."

"But-" Buffy started but Tara shook her head. "There is no time. They will be here any second." Tara handed Buffy a sword from behind her back. "You need to get rid of them quickly."

"You mean- kill them?" Buffy said, confused.

"It's the only way," Tara said. "If you do not- if you hesitate- there will be death- and it will not be yours- or theirs." Tara turned to Riley, briefly glancing at him before looking down.

Buffy wanted to cry when she saw where Tara's gaze had drifted to. These were human beings she was to kill- no matter what, she would never be comfortable with that idea.

"Can you help us?" Buffy asked, her hopeful eyes meeting Tara's.

"I can't," Tara said. "I'm needed elsewhere. I can be no help to you here. I need to go to the others."

Buffy nodded. "Take care of them."

"Always," Tara said, turning and disappearing into a cloud of white light.

*****

Wesley peeked inside the window of the factory, glimpsing Buffy inside. "Xander!" Wesley called out as quietly as he could.

"What?" Xander said, crawling to the window and peering inside for himself. "Buffy!" Xander exclaimed, smiling. "Buffy with a sword. One of my favorite sights in the whole wide world."

"Yes, it is comforting, is it not?" Wesley said, standing up and quickly heading to the door. "Let's get inside- strength in numbers sounds like an excellent plan to me."

"I'm not gonna argue," Xander said, following Wesley as they snuck inside an entrance and before he knew it, he was entering the very factory they had spent a half hour staking out.

"Xander!" Buffy said, frowning. "Everyone- stay back and leave this to Riley and me."

"Leave what to Riley and you, Buffy? What's going on?" Xander asked, stepping forward.

As if on cue, the doors behind Xander flew open and five men with rifles barged in.

"Xander, get down!" Buffy called out and Xander couldn't help but oblige. He crawled underneath a truck, wincing as the sound of gunshots and the pain in his back brought him back to the reality he wished he could escape.

Wesley was beside him in a flash, digging inside his jacket and emerging moments later with a knife. "I have to help her," Wesley said, looking at Xander. "Stay down. You're hurt already."

Before Xander could protest, Wesley was up on his feet, frowning as he saw several body parts lying on the ground; Buffy all the time wielding her sword, slicing through any man who would come up against her.

Riley was busy throwing punches, fighting hard to get the rifles away from the men before any more stray shots could be let off. The boy had several cuts already on his head from the scuffle, yet he showed no signs of slowing down. Neither of them did, and this gave Wesley comfort as he threw himself into the heat of the battle.

He grabbed the butt of one of the few remaining men's guns, quickly forcing it into the man's face; automatically followed the distinctive sound of the man's nose breaking. Wesley grabbed the gun away as the man brought his hands to his nose in pain. "Now tell me," Wesley said, pointing the gun at the man. "Where is he?"

"Bloody Travers. I know the prick is around here somewhere."

Buffy had just finished off the last man when she heard the name. "Travers. Quentin Travers?"

"The very one, Buffy," Wesley said, nodding as he watched Riley and Buffy walk over to where he held the gun on the man. "He's behind this, I can feel it. It has the coldheartedness that is his signature."

"You're a smart man, Wesley," Travers said, walking out of the very doors that he and Xander had only moments before. "You've wisened since your sorry tenure in the Council."

Buffy gripped her sword tight, an uncontrollable feeling of rage filling her at the sight of this man and all he represented. "Don't speak to him like that," Buffy said, angrily. "He was a better Watcher than you could have ever been in your lifetime."

Wesley was taken aback by Buffy's words. He had only hoped someone would say something like that about him, but he was afraid that with his shoddy history, it was a phrase he would have to accept would only be heard in his head. His eyes connected with hers and though the words were unspoken, the look in them conveyed all the thanks and gratitude for her words.

"Yes, it's easy for you to say, Miss Summers but somehow I doubt the man who made you quit the Council was considered a good Watcher by you."

"You always like to talk about things you have no clue about, don't you?" Buffy said, seething. "I quit the Council because of you. Wesley wanted to help with Angel- he went to you to get the cure and you denied him. You denied me and THAT is why I quit. I may have been angry at Wesley then, but only because I saw him as the living embodiment of the Council. Since then, I realized I was wrong."

"You were wrong about many a thing, Buffy," Travers said, raising his hand and quickly knocking the gun out of Wesley's. "Including Mr. Wyndam-Price's worth. It's very little, I assure you," he said, shooting Wesley in the chest.

"No!" Buffy screamed, watching Wesley drop to the ground and Buffy's heart stopped in her chest as she kneeled down beside his limp body, the tears falling down her cheeks. "You bastard," Buffy said, looking up at Travers.

"I've been wanting to do that for years," Travers said, laughing. "Felt better than anything before, I must say. Although, I'm starting to wonder if killing your boy wouldn't feel just as good," he said, pointing the gun at Riley, who knelt beside Buffy, holding her as she sobbed.

Buffy looked up, fear in her eyes. He would do it. He would kill Riley. Then Xander. "What do you want? Do you want to just kill all my friends? Is that it? Where's Cordelia? Did you shoot her too?" Buffy said, rising to her feet, her body shaking in grief and anger.

"Cordelia Chase is still alive, for now," Travers said. "It all depends on your actions, Ms. Summers. You do as I say and Ms. Chase, Mr. Finn live. You don't and I'll add them to the pile," he said, nodding in the direction of Wesley's lifeless body.

Buffy sobbed, trying to control herself. "What do you want? Do you want me dead?"

"Yes, actually," Travers said, smiling. "That is precisely what I want."

"Then do it," Buffy said, wiping her tears away. "Kill me and leave them alone."

"Buffy, no!" Riley said, grabbing a hold of her. "You can't do that."

"You misunderstand, Mr. Finn. It is going to come to that regardless. I'm just giving Ms. Summers the chance to sacrifice herself for you. You know it's true. I can kill them all with time. You resist and Ms. Chase will be dead in minutes. Mr. Finn- seconds after. There is, of course, Mr. Harris who ran away to alert your friends approximately 3 minutes ago. We'll let him run to them and take them all out at once. Maybe I'll let you live- attend their funerals- grieve like a good little girl who let them die-"

"Stop!" Buffy said, holding up her hand as a sort of surrender. "Stop it. Explain something to me," she said, trying to collect herself.

"Yes?"

"You could have shot me by now. Why haven't you? Why are you playing these games?"

"You don't understand," Travers said, smiling. "I always knew you weren't as bright as Giles claimed you to be. You can heal- instantaneously. If I shoot you, you will but heal in mere minutes. To kill you- we need to go to great lengths. You remember the Judge, do you not?"

Buffy nodded, realization setting in. "You need to-"

"Yes," Travers said, nodding. "We always knew this day would come and have, for centuries, attempted to avoid it. Surely you didn't think the Cruciamentum was meant to test the strength of the Slayer? It's a silly notion- if a Slayer lives to the age of 18, obviously she is a capable one."

"What are you saying?" Buffy said, holding on to Riley for support.

"The Slayer is not meant to survive the Cruciamentum. It was designed to kill you and you are the only Slayer to have survived it," Travers said, keeping his gun aimed at Riley's chest should Buffy be prone to any fits of anger.

To Be Continued...


	9. Part 9

**TITLE:** What You Are (Part 9/9)   
**EMAIL: **LaVelleBelle@aol.com   
**RATING:** PG-13   
**DISCLAIMER:**Joss owns all, including my heart. Thank you Joss for giving me so much.

Xander had been running for the last ten minutes, unsure of where exactly he was going. He had watched as Wesley had been shot point blank in the chest and he feared for the rest of his life, he would see the man fall to the ground over and over. He needed to find Angel- to find Giles- to find anyone that could save his friends' lives.

He held his breath as a pair of headlights nearly blinded him, and he waved his arms, pain flaring in his back as he did so.

The car screeched to a halt in front of him and the door opened, Willow running towards him. "Xander!" she called out. "What's going on? Where's Wesley?"

Xander nodded, looking up at Angel and Giles who had met them in front of the car. "He's- they-"

Angel shook his head, knowing fully what Xander meant. "No."

"I'm sorry, Angel."

"Where are they, Xander? Is Buffy alright?"

"They're at a factory," Xander said, struggling to catch his breath. "I can show you, but we need to hurry. He's going to kill them."

"Who?" Willow asked. "Who is he?"

"Quentin Travers," a voice said from behind them. Willow turned around and smiled, seeing Tara there. She automatically pulled the girl into a hug, but after a brief second, Tara pulled away. "I'm sorry," Tara said, frowning. "We have to move fast. Something is horribly wrong. This wasn't supposed to happen."

"What do you mean?" Giles asked. "How would you know?"

"Let's talk in the car," Angel said, anger seething in every word he spoke. "We need to get there fast. I'll be damned if someone else dies tonight."

Giles nodded. "Quite right. Let's go."

*****

"The Cruciamentum was a suicide mission," Buffy repeated, her eyes once more moving down to Wesley's still body. "Tell me something I don't know. I've seen demons from hell show more compassion than you. But what I don't understand is why this healing thing is such a big deal. I figured it'd be a big yay for you guys. I stand a better chance against the forces of darkness now. So tell me why I'm on your hit list?"

"Genevieve Moreau," Travers answered.

"And? Who is she?"

"She was a Slayer, quite like yourself. There was no Cruciamentum back then in the 1500's. She was the first Slayer to live past 18 and she developed- those powers. She became invincible."

"And?"

"She became unstoppable."

"That's kind of the point."

"To us. She became unstoppable to us. Invincibility is a very powerful thing, Ms. Summers. It tends to go to one's head. She turned against the Council, as you did as well. She sided with the evil- loving the sheer power of it and she almost took the world down to Hell with her."

Riley looked at Buffy, holding on to her tight as he saw the fear in her eyes. "How did you stop her?"

"From all accounts, it was a terrible affair. It took four men to hold her down; hours to cut her apart into small enough pieces. They traveled months scattering her remains across the world. An explosion will have to do for you Buffy- we do not have time to do the same this time. After all, after taking care of Ms. Summers, we have the matter of Faith to attend to. Her 18th birthday is next week, if I recall correctly. We have a lovely- affair - set up for her already."

Buffy swallowed hard, her whole body shaking, half from fright, half from anger. "You won't hurt her."

"And how are you going to stop me? You will, of course, be dead at this time."

"You underestimate me," Buffy said, breaking away from Riley. "You tell me all the secrets- all the power I can have if I simply grab it," she said, and with one quick motion, the gun was out of Quentin's hand and in her own. "You know- there's two things you need to learn from this situation and hopefully grow from."

"What is that?" Travers said, backing up.

"1. You talk too much and 2.," she said, pointing the gun at his head. "You really should know better than to piss a Slayer off."

"Buffy, no!" Giles called out, rushing into the factory towards his Slayer.

Buffy turned towards Giles, tears in her eyes. "I have to, Giles. I have to kill him."

"No you don't," Tara said, moving past Giles and towards Buffy. "I was wrong. You can't kill him, Buffy. If you kill him- you validate everything he just told you. You become what needs to be killed."

"I've killed already tonight, Tara. You told me I had to," Buffy said, her hand shaking.

"You killed to survive, Buffy. If you kill him now, you're doing it only out of anger. We're all here now- he's the last one. It's going to be alright," Tara said, moving close to Buffy and placing her hand over hers.

Buffy relented and dropped the gun to the ground, falling against Riley's chest, sobbing. Riley held her, his hand soothingly running along the side of her face.

"Where is Cordelia?" Xander asked, stepping up to Travers, who looked like he had been given a new lease on life. "Tell me or I'll kill you myself."

"It's not over, you know. I may be the last one here but-"

Xander cut him off, his fist delivering a mean right hook.

Travers looked up after a few seconds, defeated. "She's in the car outside."

Xander didn't wait for instructions and he ran outside, looking for the only car he didn't recognize. He found it quickly and opened the rear door. There lay Cordelia, bound and gagged, and from the looks of it, crying for the last few hours.

Xander quickly undid the ropes and the gag and pulled her body to his, holding her there in the car for what seemed like forever.

*****

"Angel?" Buffy said, her voice low. "Are you going to be OK?"

Angel stared, fixated at Wesley's body which had been mercifully been covered with a white sheet by Giles a few minutes before. Another friend- another fallen comrade and he could hardly think. "No," Angel said, looking up at Buffy. "He didn't deserve to die."

"I know," Buffy said, frowning. "I-- I could have saved him."

"No," Angel said, shaking his head. "Buffy- Xander told me what happened. You couldn't have known that he would have killed him."

"He died for nothing, Angel. He died because of me."

"He died for you, Buffy. I know- I mean, I knew Wesley, and I know how much he regretted not meaning more to you. This sacrifice of his- he would have wanted to die like this."

"I'll never forget him," Buffy said, wiping a tear away as Riley came up next to her, wrapping his arms around her and solemnly nodding at Angel.

Giles sighed as he joined the three, his hands in his pockets. "How are you all holding up?" he asked.

"Not good," Buffy said, looking up at her Watcher. "You?"

"Myself as well. This whole thing rather disgusts me and to think that a man like Wesley lost his life because of it- it makes me want to shoot Travers myself."

"Get in line," Angel said, growling as he leaned against a car.

"Will they- keep coming after me?" Buffy asked, her head rested on Riley's chest. "After us?"

"I don't know," Giles said, removing his glasses. "I believe that the elders of the Council will try to take it over once more and bring back order. You will be assigned a Watcher, whether you like it or not, I suspect. They will want to keep an eye on you ensure you do not turn out as Ms. Moreau."

"Did you know about her, Giles?" Buffy asked.

"No, I didn't. Apparently, she was the black sheep of the Slayer family."

"To say the least," Riley said, smiling weakly.

"I don't want to be like her, Giles."

"You never will," Giles said, reaching a hand out to her. "I truly believe that."

"And Faith?"

"Faith will have a Guardian of her own," Angel said, looking at Buffy. "Look, I know that you think-"

"No," Buffy said, shaking her head. "Thank you. That's the best thing you could ever do for me- to take care of her."

Angel nodded, his eyes once again on that white sheet. "We need to take care of him."

Giles nodded, unable to look. "We will."

******

Tara stood over Wesley's grave, the dirt freshly laid on top. She had stayed after the funeral and had been in the same spot for the last hour. She didn't know what to say to anyone- how to explain how horribly she was reacting to losing someone whom she had never truly met.

"Tara?" Willow called out, her voice weak from crying. She had sat in the car waiting for Tara to join her for an hour and was starting to worry for her girlfriend.

"I didn't know," Tara said, turning back to Willow, tears in her eyes. "I thought- I couldn't see what was going to happen."

"It's not your fault, Tara," Willow said, reaching for Tara's hand. "They didn't show you."

"I don't understand it," Tara said, a tear falling down her stained cheeks. "Why didn't they? I left him there- I thought I just needed to show you the way to Buffy and everything would be fine. I didn't know I left him there to die."

Willow sighed, pulling Tara to her and placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Maybe it was just his time, Tara. You can't help that."

Tara sobbed into Willow's shoulder, her arms pulling the redhead close to her.

*****

"You have to leave?" Buffy asked, holding Xander's hand. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you."

"Make those pizza runs yourself, I think," Xander said, smiling. "I just- I want to be with Cordelia and her life is in LA and there's not much keeping me here. I mean- there's you guys but I can come visit all the time. Plus Angel's a little shorthanded-"

"I know," Buffy said, nodding as she moved into Xander's tight embrace. "I miss you already."

"Take care of yourself," Xander said, removing himself from the hug and stepping into his car. "Take care of each other."

"Always," Buffy said, watching as Xander pulled out into the street.

Buffy turned, walking into her house. She walked up the stairs, wanting nothing more than to lie in bed and take a nap- to be some semblance of a kid again.

She laid down in her bed and closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep.

~~~You think you know ... what's to come ... what you are. You haven't even begun. ~~~~~

THE END....

((Or maybe there will be more in a sequel!!))


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